Goodbye, 2013

Well, it was an interesting year. Everything that could have gone wrong – went wrong. Everything that could have gone right – went wrong as well. The year of broken promises, destroyed dreams, and abandoned plans. The year of Epic Fail.

1. I didn’t finish Siberia.
In 2013 I planned to finish my second novel, Siberia. I planned to write 1 chapter a week, which seemed reasonable, considering that I had a full time job, addiction to WOW, and proclivity to procrastinate. Never mind that! In March my husband decided to move to DC and the Great Relocation had started, which included: packing stuff, fixing the house, trying to sell the house, not being able to sell the house, buying another house, spending weekends on the train, and picking up side projects to pay for two households.

2. I didn’t finish anything else. Including this blog.


Writer with a full-time job

Writing after work

Writing after work

Two months ago, in December, I’ve made the New Year resolution: I’ve decided that I would spend the year of 2013 in a complete “literary abandon.” I planned on writing at least one blog post a week, as well as one short story a week. I also intended to finish my second novel, Siberia, by writing at least one chapter a week and publishing it @ http://www.jukepopserials.com/.

I don’t know what I was thinking, it seems that I have completely forgotten about my day job. I am an ADL specialist. Go ask the Internet what it is if you are curious. Basically, I spend at least eight house a day in the cubical, in front of a computer screen (actually, in front of three computer screens). Most days using a computer after six o’clock makes me sick, as well as the idea of sitting down with a piece of paper and thinking.

I gave up the blogging idea after the first two weeks of the year – it just wasn’t fitting into my schedule. I didn’t want to blog about rudimentary subjects. I’ve also realized that blogging about something serious would involve a research and it would take time (that I didn’t have).

I spent the whole day yesterday recovering from the previous week which was stuffed with deadlines and meetings. I felt like a human submarine that spent the whole week holding its’ breath under water, finally making it to the surface on Friday night. I spent Saturday trying to re-organize my schedule and fit writing into my life – once again, less aggressively this time.

I know that many writers have done it before me: working the day job and writing on evenings. Still, it is so very hard to switch from the buzzing sensation of the day to the empty piece of paper, to keep the eyes open and the mind thinking after the six o’clock mark. I am sure there is a research that says: a human will not perform well after eight hours of work – let him rest. Otherwise the profit-hungry corporations would keep us working much longer.

After stressing more than writing, and stressing about not writing, I finally have to forget my New Year resolution and lower my expectations. Maybe I will write a novel about not writing a novel. Or not writing at all.